When we are referring to subjects such as "relating to women", or "how to relate to women" or "Are you able to relate to women?", I often get asked about how to begin getting physical with a girl that you have known as a pal for some time.
Getting physical is something that generally occurs naturally between a man and a woman over a three month period unless either of them is really uncomfortable on disinterested.
When a man is not comfortable with approaching a girl for a physical relationship, the main thing that a guy can do to handle that is learn how to observe and make use of gradients.
What exactly are gradients? Gradients are just like steps on a ladder which you climb to get to the top. Some guys might try to go to the top of the ladder without climbing any of the steps. And that makes the girl uneasy and also the guy.
A man who is not comfortable in this area should learn both how to identify gradients when women use them and how to use gradients on girls.
Not all women will begin at the same gradient. A few women will start with a kiss after a first date, and proceed gradually or rapidly from there - from kissing, to making out, to petting, to heavy petting and finally to sexual relations. If a man attempts to leap to the "sexual relations" step without going through the other gradients, he may just lose the girl. On the other hand, you can lose a girl as you are moving up the gradients too slowly.
Now other women won't even be up to the gradient of giving you a goodnight kiss until the seventh date. Gradients for her might be: getting to know you, speaking about sexual subjects indirectly (for instance commiserating regarding an ex-boyfriend), accidental touch (bumping into you as you stroll), purposeful little touches to your arm or leg, holding onto your arm as you walk, holding your hand, and then a goodnight kiss.
If you are not comfortable with this area and wish to get physical with a girl, flirt with her, romance her, notice where she is on the gradients of sexual contact, then take her up the gradients gently. As long as you don't by pass too many gradients, if she is interested, she will move up the gradients quickly or slowly depending on her persona.
If she is not interested, she probably won't move up. Try lowering the gradient and if she still doesn't move up, try speaking about it. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you or if she only wants to be friends.
Don't forget that most women won't go out on a "date" with you unless they are already vaguely okay with the idea of getting physical with you. Therefore you may need to make clear if you are dating or just "hanging out."
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