A Perfect Match

These Quick Tips on dating Portland Oregon will help you decide if you have met  Your prince or princess Charming Perfect Match

- Common sense methods to help you decide if the Person you Are Dating is your perfect Match or has Perfect Match Potential

It won't take you long to figure out if you have things in common.  Your common interests will identify themselves fast.  Equally fast will be the obvious if you have nothing in common.

If you both like peanut butter sandwiches at midnight – that's great, but if you both like peanut butter sandwiches with pickles at midnight while you are listening to your favorite song and it reminds you of a special time with a loved one – That's the little extra common glue is what helps people stick together.

If you have several of those – not so common – things that you both like – then you KNOW that you have at least ONE thing that will keep you together.

According to my husband, he knew on our first date when he mouthed off in the car, in front of me, to a bad driver beside us who tried to cut us off, and looked at me sheepishly for fear of being chastised for bad behavior and I rolled down the window and loudly yelled at the driver myself for the poor driving demonstration I had just witnessed, that he had found his perfect match.  It was incredibly not "lady-like" of me to do that, and it was also one of those spontaneous, "What am I doing moments when it's too late to back out of it so you may as well finish your sentence," moments.  After 14 years he still tells people I am his, "One."  For me it was instant – And I wasn't one to ever believe in Love At First Sight, either.

There is only one reason why you don't have anything in common or to talk about.

• Because you don't – Now (early in the relationship) is the best time cut your losses and move on.

It's also important that you have several of those commonalities – Not just one or two.

If your "You" time becomes your "We" time – For both of you.  When you see your lives becoming a blend instead of doing your own thing on your own.  Don't get me wrong – Me time is essential in ANY relationship, but when together time becomes more important than time on your own, or even planning time away, then you are on the right track for a longer term commitment.  I moved seven hours away from my family to be with my partner.    We will move back, 'home,' later this year, but that decision was made long before the move was made.  We made the decision together – It was "Ours." The compromise gave us both the feeling that we were walking the same path together.  Are you thinking of "we, and us and ours," versus, "my, and mine."


You know your new friend well by now, but do they know your friends yet and do you know theirs.  If you hesitate to take this step (for whatever reason) then listen to your instincts because they will help guide you.  If you are excited to have your friends meet your new date, then take that as a good sign that they will approve and that this person is someone you want to share more of your life with.

Parents, on the other hand, are going to love you no matter what.  Because of their unconditional love, their approval may be easier – You will know what is best from your experience – My folks were harder on anyone than my friends ever were, but I never lost a parent over a partner.

Have you been dating awhile or a few weeks and want to plan a vacation for yourself.  Or do you want to include that new special person in your life and are afraid to ask them because they are too new in your life and you don't want to bring up vacation pans and scare them off, but whoops, you just did and now you are caught mid-breath trying to take back those words that may be interpreted as a, 'commitment.'

Scary word – commitment – for a newly dating couple, because it brings up a lot of fears and takes a risk with hurt and disappointment.  But, because you blurted it out without thinking – Now it's out there, so if you want to keep things light then  you are well advised to agree to talk about it again at a later date and to drop the vacation subject for now.  Stay alert to how your suggestion is interpreted and you will know if forward thinking plans are a good idea – or a bad one, just by observing the reaction you get to the idea of time together at a planned later date.  This reaction can alert you as to whether or not you are on the same level in your thinking about your relationship or if you are out ahead of your partner in your "Us" thinking, hoping for more, but not getting it – You probably will not – Ever.  Again, early is best to take your leave than late in a relationship that won't go anywhere.

You've got news  to share and you can't wait to tell, . . . that new person you are dating, that's who!  And you want to tell them as soon as you can – immediately, if possible!  And they want to tell you those kinds of things too.

Those are all good signs that you are in a dating relationship that will last.  Good for you!

Here's some common sense tips on how to tell if you may not be in a long-lasting relationship:

You hang out with your friends ALL THE TIME.  You stop having time alone together and agree to ALWAYS spend your time together doing things with your friends.  The magic is gone if this happens to you.   Time to move on.  Couples go through times when they may be spending more time with their friends than each other.  If this is happening to you all the time then your relationship has reached a point of moving on or new relationship discoveries.  A lifetime will not sustain only having fun with each other if you can not invite your other friends to tag along with you whenever you do things.

Does crying on your partners shoulder leave you feeling distant and ignored.  Not a soul on the planet wakes up every single day with a smile on their face.  Every one of us has an off day or a down day.  That's life and circumstances sometimes happen to put a damper on your day.  Having said that, not everyone (in a normal relationship) can have an unending supply of bad days, either.  But, if you are in a situation and feel that you need some comfort from that person you feel special abut and they can't be bothered (this only applies if you are not calling them at work every ten minutes to report that you heard a sad song on the radio), then your prince or princess is simply not interested in knowing you in every way and if they can't be bothered then do them and yourself a favor – Don't bother them and keep looking for that special person who is still looking for you.

Gaps in your conversation send you into panic mode and you are frantically searching for a way to fill the silence.  This is far different from a comfortable silence in which you are both looking over a handrail to enjoy the lap of the ocean waves, or the companionable silence of two people gazing at a painting.  Those kinds of awkward silence moments normally make for a short relationship, because that person simply does not want to be with you.  The reason does not matter, just be glad you don't waste each other's time for longer than necessary to find out.

How do you disagree or argue – You have one mouth and two ears – Use them proportionately in ANY argument.  Are you following that tip or are you or your partner sitting there with clenched fists, rolling your eyes and not listening at all, but just waiting for your turn to talk.  If that is your pattern then it is best to leave immediately and move on.  It doesn't get better with time- It gets worse.  No relationship can survive where there is never any respect for the viewpoint of the other person.  Life is much too short to spend it being miserable.

Does it bother you that they squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle instead of the end and can you live with it or do you feel a need to say something critical to them about it.  Has your conversation deteriorated to this level over 80 percent of the time.  If you pick your battles then this may seem like nothing, but if you can't get over it, overlook these kinds of things, then there are other things going on in this relationship that you will struggle with too.  These struggles are ways that we keep people from getting close to us and stay at a distance from us – Pick your battles.   Understand that under these conditions, that when someone tells you that they can't be a part of a relationship with you any longer, that it really is all about them and move on.  Who wants to spend their valuable life being picked on by someone you can never get close to.

You will find your perfect match. Dating Portland Oregon believes that the best move you can make in any relationship is always going to be forward!

Here's To Your Success!